{Transportation}

I had to have some work done on my truck last week so I needed to drive Brandon's car.  I kind of cringed at the thought.  Brandon bought his car as a cheap, good gas mileage car.  It fits those criterion.  But Brandon has treated it like a farm truck and it was nas. tay.

I decided that driving such a filthy car would put me in a bad mood and Brandon deserved to have a cleaner car.  Plus I didn't want to drive it in that condition so Biz and I set out to clean it up.

I judged, ya'll.  I judged a lot.  HOW could anyone get a car so dirty?  And remember Biz and I were working together so it wasn't pretty conversation.  But we got the job done.

Then Biz went car shopping.  She bought a minivan.  Yes she did.

Now I have said a lot of bad things about minivans, but I take them all back!  I swooned.  It's just so dang kid friendly.  And has leather.  And a DVD player.  And headphones.  And doors that open AND CLOSE automatically.

I envied.  I am ashamed of how much I envied.  I envied A LOT.  I was in a bad place.  A place where I was thinking how having a car payment wouldn't be so bad.  I mentioned the doors, right?  And the kid friendliness?

It was a bad time in my life and I am not proud.

And then I started thinking.  First I thought "HOW could my own sister do this to me?  How could she one up me like this?  WHO does she think she is with her high falootin' minivan???"  And then I kind of came to my senses.

For starters, while Biz has a very nice abode, it is certainly not her dream home.  It's small.  And she only has one bathroom.  And I have four.

So I thought "Hmm, I bet she wishes she had one of my bathrooms.  Or my tub.  Ok, so maybe I don't have it so bad."

And if I am being honest, because I think honesty is the best policy, I have a really nice truck.  It's ginormous and four wheel drive and shiny.  And dependable.  And paid for.

But I started looking closely at it and I had to admit that my truck was pretty dirty. We spend a total of AT LEAST an hour and a half a day in my truck.  My kids eat in my truck. It gets pretty gross.

I decided that I too deserved a clean truck.

Now, once in a while, I run it through the car wash and vaccuum it out.  And sometimes I try to wipe everything down.  But this obviously hasn't been enough.

Remember how I judged?  I was paid back.  Holy moly.

I have three rows of seats.  The middle seats flip up and I can get underneath them.  Thank the good Lord.  That's all I can say.  The stuff I found under those seats?  Well, it's best if we don't talk about it.

The dirtiest spot was Mason's.  There were crumbs and spills and stickiness and just totally and complete nastiness.  And petrified fruit snacks.

But now my truck is clean clean clean. It made it drive better.  And smell better.  So when my financial advisor decides it's time to get a minivan, I'm all ready to sell!

It's pretty awesome.

{Growing Pains}

Mason's been telling knock knock jokes lately.  The first time he gave me the punchline- "beenana orange glad I'm a beenana"- Well. I just lost it.  Then he told it about 200 more times and I laughed just as hard.  The kid cracks me up.

He's "transitioning" to the pre-school room.  He is currently in the "toddler" room and as kids get close to 3, they start to visit the preschool room.  His toddler teacher and I are having a hard time with it.  Mason, not so much.  He actually hasn't even looked back.  His teacher and I have made a deal that we will continue to make him think he has to go to her room in the morning.  As soon as breakfast is over, he asks to go to pre-school and stays the rest of the day.  Even nap!

And transition would make you think it's a gradual process, right?  Not for Mason.  He would be perfectly happy to never see his toddler friends or teachers again.  He tells me he is a big boy now.

Mason is precious and funny and sweet and smart.  And funny.

The other morning on the way the school he said "Alright, Derek, let's get to school."  We don't know a Derek.  And as far as I know he does not watch any shows on tv that have a "Derek" character in them.  And because we are cut out of the same cloth, I responded "Ok, Jim, let's hit it."  And we both died in fits of laughter.

That's how we roll.

This is my baby back in January:

This is some big kid who was in the back of my bus last Friday:

Therefore it has been decided that Mason will not grow beyond the age of three.

Thank you and goodnight. 

{NKOTB}

Last night, Brandon and I were watching tv.  Well, actually, I was watching tv.  Big Brother to be exact. It was DVR'd.  It is the only thing I cannot miss on tv.  Brandon was half watching/ half cleaning up the kitchen.  He's a gem.

So a commercial comes on for some new movie about vampire children.  I said "Uh, no thanks.  Gross."  Brandon asked what I was talking about so I told him "A new movie about vampire children."  He replied, "Oh that might be good."  (Tell me again how are we compatible?)  "Sounds like 'Lost Boys'.  You've seen 'Lost Boys', right?"

Evidently Brandon and I grew up in opposite universes.  I could tell you all the things he loves that I don't.  Or I could tell you all the things that I love that he hates.  Or all the things I have never seen that he loves.  But it is easier to tell you that the only popular television show we have a common love for is Little House on the Prairie.  Seriously. And now we're living the dream just like the Ingalls.

So back to Lost Boys.  Brandon insists that I must have seen it.  He goes on to add that I surely had a major crush on Corey Haim.  Hiam?  Haimm?  Um, no.  I did not.  "Who DID you have a crush on?"  he says.  "Well, um....I got all those "Teen Beat' magazines but I don't remember who I swooned over except for 'New Kids On the Block'" I say. (NKOTB for the real fans) And the rest goes like this:

Brandon: Ok which one did you love?
Me: Jordan
Brandon: Is he gay?
Me: IS he gay?
Brandon: IS he gay?
Me: Is HE gay?
Brandon:  Is he GAY?
Me:  Is he gay?
Brandon: IS. HE. GAY?  I don't know.  I am asking.
Me:  Oh.  Is he gay?  You say it like one of them is gay.  Is one of them gay????
(Because I might need therapy)

Brandon:  LANCE BASS IS GAY!

Me:  (Laughing so hard I am crying and almost peeing my pants)

I was finally able to get out the fact that Lance Bass was not in NKOTB. While wiping away tears.

Then Brandon spent 15 minutes trying to figure out which boy band Lance was in.

{One of Those Weekends}

I've always gotten Memorial Day and Labor Day confused.  It's one of the many things I get confused about.  Several years ago, I figured out a way to keep it all straight for myself:  Memorial Day is in May and they both start with "M".  Somehow, however, I think the two holidays must have similarities for me.

Remember my post from Memorial Day weekend?  I had another one of those weekends!  I feel like time somehow stood still and there was enough time to do almost everything that I wanted or needed to do.  (I did not mop my hardwood.  And I really wanted/ needed to.)

Saturday, I slept in.  My mom came and took the kids to my grandmother's for a visit.  The weather was glorious.  They went to a park and played.  Then they went back to my grandmother's to ride their bikes.  While they were gone I cleaned.  I met them in town and retrieved the kids so mom could be on her way home.  

Brandon was going to a UFC fight so the kids and I stayed home.  Ellie's big secret was that we popped popcorn and ate it on the couch.  The jig is up now since Brandon is one of my 5 faithful readers.  Brandon hates the smell of microwave popcorn.  Go figure. But we very much enjoyed eating popcorn while we watched Olivia and the Backyardigans.

Sunday, we went to church and then to Gander Mountain to get Ellie her very first deer hunting outfit.  Ahh...makes a Mama proud.  

How cute is she???

Then we came home and my mom came to sew with me.  Evidently, I am a solitary sewer.  We didn't accomplish much.  I really think that sewing is kind of solitary.  And everyone has their own system.  But I did get two shirts done yesterday.

My goal was to get some things done for fall for the kids.  I keep a list two miles long of all the things I want to sew and I just never seem to make a dent in it.  But this weekend, I did. 

Today, I was able to do four shirts for Ellie, three shirts for Mason and a shirt for Charlie.  Woot!!!  And I threw in a few loads of laundry in between.

Here are a few of the shirts:

Mason's birthday tee

Getting ready for football season.  Go WKU!

And this one for Mason was probably my favorite of the weekend.  I am counting on Nana for some brown corduroy pants to go with it and we have "Boutique on a Budget"!  And I say it's my favorite, but I did one for Ellie to match a skirt I got at the crazy Kellys Kids sale a couple of years ago and it is very cute too!


All in all, it was a great weekend and I have decided that every weekend should be 3 days.  4 days of work and 3 days of weekend is just a better ratio.  Not to get political or anything, but the whole idea is just crazy enough that I think it seems like something our current Pres would jump on.  Just sayin'.

{A List}

1. My patience and tolerance is at a major LOW.  I have no time for silliness, foolery or anything that gets in my way.  I was so NOT in the mood for road work this morning.

Yes, road work.  My roads are just one step above gravel.  Why the need to work on them at 7:20 am?

No fewer than 43 people tried to pull out in front of me this morning. What?  You think it was 2?  Ok, maybe it was 2.

And then I got irritated by the woman who I see walking every morning.  She irritates me because she doesn't move her arms when she walks.

And you know what else is tremendously irritating to me?  The fact that Eminem is making a comeback.  What is up with that?

Obviously my irritation is warranted.

2.  Mason is obsessed with Corvettes.  I showed him a yellow Corvette one day to try to distract his attention from asking me for a "chocolate cookie", which he asks for all. the. time.  (We don't even have chocolate cookies in our house.  Cross my heart.  I have no clue where he got this.)

So I say "WOW!  See that yellow car?  That's a Corvette."  

Now Mason sees Corvettes everywhere.  Only they aren't Corvettes.  And they may or may not be yellow.

And really, I don't care.  I just say "Oh wow, that's cool."  Ellie, on the other hand, has no time for looking at cars that are billed as Corvettes, but turn out to be Hondas.  No time at all. Disappointment sets in because evidently my kids are really into Corvettes.

Her disappointment turns into an all out screaming match that "NO THAT IS NOT A CORVETTE!  MASON YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!"  She's Stickler, Jr., she is.

3.  My kids battle constantly.  Con. Stant. Ly.  Ellie doesn't get enough play time to suit her needs.  She retreats to her room to play "baby" or "daycare" or "school" as soon as we hit the door in the afternoon.  IF Mason follows her rules, she will let him play.  IF he won't follow the rules, she will waylay him.

I hear you.  You're saying, "Awe, poor Mason."  Don't be fooled.  Mason antagonizes.  She says "Put that down" and he says "Come make me."  So she does.  Then he cries.  Then I comfort him.  Then he goes back for more.  I'm at a loss.


4.  I have an inability to get organized.  What?  The? Heck?  Seriously, ya'll.  Why can't I get it together.  I feel like I am always chasing my tail.

And I just realized last week that I really have no excuse.  There is no house building.  Brandon hasn't been traveling for a few weeks.  My social calendar is pretty empty.  But I cannot get it together!

I have narrowed it down to a few possible causes:  1.  My three roommates who always want meals and don't do their own laundry.  Or pick up after themselves.  2.  The lack of a live-in housekeeper (Or even JACKIE.  If anyone sees Jackie, tell her I want to get back together!)  3.  My full-time job that takes up like 40 hours of prime time during my week.

5.  I realized two days ago that next week is Labor Day.

And I did a happy dance.

Then I realized that the forecast is calling for a HIGH of 77 degrees and I said Howalooya and Amen!

{Decisions}

Add caption

Since we started kindergarten, there have been a lot of things that have changed.  We have much busier mornings.  Ellie has way less free time (I hate this the most for her) because we get home later and we have homework.

I try to plan ahead.  I pack everything in her lunch that I can the night before and plan the other things I will put in.  I fix the coffee so I can just turn it on.  (Yes, I have become a coffee drinker...another post)  And then there are the dreaded decisions about what to wear...

Our BIGGEST fights have been over what she will wear.  I pick something, something I even pick TWO outfits and give her a choice, and it is never what she wants.

So in a lightbulb moment the weekend before school started, I came up with a plan:

On Sunday evening, we go to her room and we pick 5 OR 6 outfits (in case she feels she needs an option) for the week.  I cleaned off a shelf in her closet and that shelf is dedicated to her weekly clothes.  In the mornings, I tell her to go pick her outfit for the day.  I can rest assured that all outfits have been previously approved by management and she feels like she has gobs of choices.

This absolutely and completely WORKS FOR ME.

Now, if ya'll can figure out a way I can A. get her to go to bed earlier and B. NOT roll over and whine "It is too hard for me to wake up."  Please enlighten me.

***
Visit We are THAT Family for other great tips!